Five Months....

That's the amount of time it's taken me to finally make it back to my "blog".... if you can call it that. It's more like a write-a-few-things-down-when-I-think-about-it kinda thing and I can't guarantee it's going to get ANY better.
As I was reading over my last entry, I realized how much has really changed. Carson is and has been a walker/runner for a few months now. Last time I blogged, she was just beginning to pull herself up! She has two teeth on the bottom and "fangs" on top. Not sure what's going on with the top middle teeth, but the pediatrician said it was nothing to worry about even though it is a little abnormal. She knows a few words... Dada, Mama, What's that?, light, Papa, Nana, baba and a few others that can't come to mind right now. She's constantly pointing at everything and saying "that?" or "what's that?". She doesn't like to sit still and is constantly into something. :) And last but not least, she puts a smile on my face every. single. day.
Time is going by very quickly these days and in just a few weeks, we should have Daddy home with us again! I can't wait!!!! I'm anxious to see Carson with her Daddy. I know there's a special bond that I have with my Dad and I just want to see the two of them together. We have already planned a few "dates" for the three of us to go on and I cannot wait to spend quality time with the two most important people in my life.
I should definitely start posting more simply because I enjoy looking back at what I've written, what stage Carson is at that time, etc. :)

What's Been Going On...

Sometimes I'll sit around, have random thoughts and think "I should blog about that", but between the dirty diapers, running here and there, bath time, bottles, play time and finally bed time, I'm exhausted and barely make it to the "New Post" screen before I shut the computer and go to bed myself! I'm not complaining... there is no other person I would rather spend my day with than Carson. Well, maybe having her Daddy here would make it a million times better, but since that can't happen I'm making the best of it!
I've tried my best not to "whine" about the deployment. I mean, it sucks. Plain and simple. But, whining about it isn't going to make it easier or help me deal with it. I see many wives who complain day after day... while it may make me feel "sorry" for you after a while, it just gets OLD! Yes, we all miss our husbands, but face the fact that complaining isn't going to make it go by any faster (in my opinion, it makes it drag on even more!). I know that if my husband could be here, he would.. and that's what comforts me. Don't get me wrong, of course I have my "woe is me" moments, but I get over it and try to remain happy... especially for Carson. :) End Vent.
On another note, today has been filled with a few "firsts" for Carson. She pooped in the bathtub for the first time. Okay, so that's not exactly a "first" that many people write down in their children's baby books, but I thought it was hilarious! The water had already drained out of the tub, so I went to grab her towel. After I got back, I noticed she was playing with something brown (with a hint of yellow) in the tub. I got a little closer only to realize it was fecal matter. I couldn't help but laugh, if only she knew exactly what she was playing with! I was just thankful she didn't eat it! :) My friend Lindsey also came over today. While I was outside, she was in the room with Carson. She said she looked up and Carson had pulled herself up from the sitting position and was standing while holding onto her activity table! She's not crawling yet, but yet she's already pulled herself up! Of course she hasn't done it since, but where is the time going? Where is that itty bitty baby? I am so thankful for her health and that she is growing, but I want her to remain a baby for just a tad bit longer! She's also started to get up onto her tippy toes trying to crawl. She'll only move one hand forward and move about an inch before she falls back down onto her tummy. Again, I can't believe how fast they grow!
I'll leave you with a few pictures of our sweet girl! We have our first Gymboree class tomorrow, so I'm excited for that! It's also my birthday so we'll be going out to breakfast with my two very best friends beforehand. :) Hope everyone has a great week!

 Carson's "Daddy is my hero" shirt she wore to bed tonight!

 Our perfect, precious little girl!

Here's another first for the day! Drinking out of a sippy cup!!! :)

I'll be blogging more in NO time! :)

So, as a birthday present to myself, I got a new computer! It's not anything fancy, but it can get the job done! I can now blog, post pictures from my camera on Facebook for Matt, etc. Our old computer kicked the bucket about a week ago and wouldn't even pick up my Dad's internet connection when we first got here a month ago, so it posed quite a challenge for me to get anything on here! I also want to include pictures on future posts, but I can't do that from my phone so hopefully this will help! :) Very excited! After I get everything set up and (hopefully) get all of our pictures transferred from the hard drive (I'm hoping I can. I will be heartbroken if I can't get Carson's birth pictures), then I can update a little (or a lot) more frequently! :)

The Countdown is ON!

As of tomorrow, we will already be two weeks into this deployment!! Only 50 more weeks to go (approximately)! I went out to Colorado to spend some quality time with Matt before he left (my mom graciously watched our Carson). The days we were able to spend together were/are priceless. Yes, I spent a lot more than I intended to on the plane tickets, but all the money in the world can't buy back the time we were able to just hang out and enjoy each other. Being able to see him walk onto the bus is something I didn't want to miss out on. For me, it gives me closure. The feeling that "yes, this deployment is starting... and it's starting now. The next time I see him will be R&R." For the wives that have done this.. you know what I mean! ;)

After my trip, I went back to Mom's to pick up my Carson! I was so, incredibly happy to see her again. It felt like it'd been months, but it had been less than a week! All I could do was hug and kiss on her! I cannot imagine how Matt and the other soldiers who leave behind little ones feel. It's one thing to leave your spouse, but to leave your child... knowing how much they will grow while you're gone and that you will miss out on things... that's true sacrifice!

While I had anticipated all the "free time" I would have to blog, it hasn't happened. We've been visiting with family and friends since we've made this our new "home" for the time-being. Carson is keeping me extremely busy! While I'd hoped to get a part-time job while Matt was away, I'm still on the fence about it. (Maybe I can just focus on blogging more... haha)

Matt has safely arrived at his new home in Afghanistan. He's described it as... hot. Very hot. After speaking with him for a bit yesterday, he's told me that he was able to get a lot of what he needs over there from the guys who are leaving to come back home (yay!) and that there isn't much to send him except for pictures, cards and, of course, baby wipes!!

While any deployment/seperation from your husband/loved one (who is not just anywhere... but in a war zone...) is hard, I've actually been less "on edge" this deployment than last one. Matt hasn't been able to call for a few days at a time and when he has, the calls have been short. Basically a "Hey, I'm here. Love you. Give Carson kisses. Bye.". Thankfully, we were able to chat a little bit yesterday. Anyway... the point is.. if that would have happened last deployment, I probably would have been really worried and anxious. However, this time it's one of those things where I genuinely realize that "No news is good news" and he's busy so he will call when he can.

Carson has continued to grow and grow. It amazes me how fast children learn. She isn't crawling yet, but she's working her way up to it. She's slowly adjusting to her new environment here as her "home". She makes me laugh every day and is such a happy baby. I made her baby food for the first time yesterday. Up until now, I have been buying the organic baby food. I found that I really LOVE making it. It tastes so much better, I feel better about it and the fact that there aren't any preservatives and it's cheaper! (There could be an entire post on the funny looks I've gotten when I told certain people I make Carson's baby food, but oh well! I don't eat all organic myself (or close to it), but I want to do what I think is best for our daughter... and that's all that matters! :) ) Okay, off of my soapbox..

I'm off to do my "stay at home mommy" duties... laundry, feeding, diapering, etc. :) Hopefully I can find the time (sooner rather than later) to blog a bit more!

The Next Two Weeks...

Well, we have officially arrived in SC, which will be our "home" for the next year while Matt is in the sandy land of Afghanistan. We have TONS of events we're wanting to do during our time home so that we can enjoy the small amount that we do have left. Skydiving, a (child free) mini-vaca to Charleston (with a massage, sunset sail, carriage ride, shopping, etc.), maybe making a trip to Six Flags, a trip to NC for Mom's Luau to celebrate their marriage, his Mom's wedding and last but NOT least... family time before he leaves.

I know the next two weeks are going to be an emotional rollercoaster for me. Just THINKING about not returning to CO with my little family in tow is very hard. I know we've moved out of our place, but it still hasn't sank in. I don't think it will until I see Matt boarding the plane to head back. There are so many thoughts running through my mind about how much he'll miss out on with Carson, how I will be worrying and keeping my cell phone beside me every second while he's gone (again), her possibly not going to him when he does return because she's only seen him through pictures (hopefully Skype). While there are many things running through my mind, I'm going to try to put them off as much as possible so I can enjoy the time we do have together. I'm not sure how much/little I'll be updating the blog while he's here, but this helps me to get out my anxieties and thoughts about what's to come. :)

Carson's Birth Day!

Wow! That's all I can say....

I cannot believe that it's been almost two YEARS ago I blogged last. Since Matt got home from the deployment to Iraq (Aug '09), we have had so many things going on (one wonderful one in particular) that it's hard to find the time to blog! However, with this second deployment approaching, I'm sure I'll be a little bit more diligent than I was in the past! Gotta have a way for him to see what's going on with the munchkin, right?

Which brings me to another topic... :) we found out on February 11, 2010 that we would be expecting a baby on or around October 22. My heart immediately filled with love for this little being. When I took the pregnancy test, I couldn't believe my eyes! I had to take it outside just to make SURE I was seeing two lines and it wasn't some weird lighting we had going on in our bathroom! :) I had a great pregnancy for those nine(ish) months with no complications and it all went very smoothly. Of course, at the end, I was miserable and just wanted the baby OUT, but feeling the kicks and movements were all priceless and so wonderful. I was also happy to have my husband there with me to experience the pregnancy because a lot of Army spouses don't have that "luxury" I guess you could say....

I've been wanting to write out her birth story for the longest time... I did write it in her baby book, but even now people will ask me questions about it and I feel like I'm starting to forget little tidbits here and there. First of all, let me say how OVERJOYED I was/am to have had Matt there to support me through the whole labor process! He was seriously an Angel to me and I have to say, I think I turned into a little demon throughout the contractions, apologizing in between each one. :)

On October 26, 2010 I was already four days past my due date. With my Dad due to leave Colorado that Friday, I was hoping that this (still nameless at that time) munchkin would make her appearance...and soon! That morning, I had an appointment with my Midwife who was going to be working L&D that night... and hopefully delivering my child... is what I was thinking! So, Matt, my Mom and I strolled into Labor and Delivery (my walk was more like a waddle) around nine o'clock that morning. She check everything out and told me I was dilated to a two and about 50% effaced. I was not happy. I thought SURELY there would be more progress than that. She told me if I didn't have her by October 31, then she would induce me. My first thought was "I am NOT having a Halloween baby!". My Mom, Dad and Ronnie would also be gone by that time, so it was a disappointment to say the least. So, she went ahead and stripped my membranes and told me she'd see me later.

After the disappointment, we strolled into our friends Tara and Jason's room, they had actually just had a baby themselves!! Her baby and our little one were due on the same day! :) (what a coincidence, huh?) So, we got to hold the precious Abigail and still dream of what our baby would look like and whose features she would have, etc. Abigail was (and is) so precious!

After leaving the hospital, we got in the car and all headed to the mountains to walk around a little bit. At that point, I was having some contractions, but I figured it was from my midwife stripping my membranes and would go away in a few hours. While on the car ride down, Dad and Matt were timing the contractions and they weren't regular at that point, but boy were they getting stronger!!! At about 3:30 PM we were home and I was getting a little harder to talk through them.... well, Matt and I decided to go ahead and make a trip to the hospital to see if any progress had been made.... after checking me, she said I was still dilated at a two, possibly three. They won't admit you until you're four centimeters. So, back home we went. The whole way home, I told him I was NOT going back to that dreadful hospital unless this baby was COMING! When we got home, I followed the midwife's orders to eat, take a bath and sleep. Okay, the last one didn't work, but I did eat and take a bath! :)

Around eight thirty, I couldn't take the pain anymore and was certain this baby was on her way, but still didn't want to go back to the hospital just to be turned down again! So, with a little convincing from Mom, Matt and Ronnie (Dad had already went to the hotel at this point), in we went. After they checked me for the second time, they said I was still the same, but I could walk around downstairs to see if that sped the process up, or I could take a shot of Morphine which would slow things down, but would enable me to get some rest. I opted to walk around... plus, the sound of morphine in my pregnant body without being able to even take Excedrin for the past nine months, sounded awful to me! The nurse told me to walk around for at least an hour, but to shoot for about two hours.

So, downstairs we went (thankfully it was late and the clinics at the hospital were closed, so I didn't have to worry about dodging a lot of people). As Matt and I walked around, we had to stop for my contractions as I put my arms around his necked and "rocked" through them... just as we had learned in our birthing class! :) Mom followed us around for a bit rubbing my lower left back because that's where a lot of the pain was coming from. So... we did this for about an hour- walking, break for contraction, walking, break for contraction... you get the idea. By the end of it, I was tending to hold my breath during contractions and starting to get a little dizzy and feeling like I was going to faint. At one point, Matt and Mom both told me to "Breathe, Brittany!" At that point I yelled... " I AM BREATHING!!!" :) Told ya, I was a little demon!

At that point I told them, I AM going upstairs to be checked again. That was about... 10:15-10:30ish. That elevator could not get me up there fast enough! I just KNEW I had made progress and it turns out, I was right! I had dilated to a 5.I slowly walked to the room I would be set up in and went to the bathroom before I would be confined to the bed. I'm sorry if this is TMI, but the toilet seat was honestly my best friend during some of my contractions! ANYWAY... after that, I got on the bed so that they could hook me up to an IV and all that lovely stuff.... once I got on the bed, my contractions seemed SUPER strong! I asked the doctor how long he thought I would be in labor and he told me I'd probably be there until 7 AM the next morning.... I thought I would DIE before then!!! For my own reasons, I had wanted to do this birth epidural-free, but after I was in that kind of pain, I ordered the nurse to get the "needle man" up there ASAP! As she went out of the room, I felt this urge to push. She yelled back at Matt "Don't let her push!!!!" and of course he told me not to, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do! So, unknown to Matt, I gave just a little push... not much, just enough to make me feel better (in my mind)! At that point, my water broke all over the bed and the heavenly anesthesiologist came rolling in with his cart of drugs! :)

Well, after my water broke and both the nurse and anesthesiologist walked into the room, the nurse decided to change my sheets before she checked me. At the same time, I'm having horrible contractions and the drug guy is asking me family history questions! By the way, that is quite possibly the WORST time to ask someone questions! He didn't even wait until I was done having the stinkin' contraction (I'm still a little bitter about that)! Anyway, after the questions and bed changing, the nurse finally checked me and said "Ut oh, you're dilated to an 8". I knew what that meant from our birthing class- no epidural. At that point, I was not upset at all, but I could see the anesthesiologist SLOWLY backing out of my room. I think he'd been attacked by pregnant women before who were probably given the same news. :)

At that point, I got the strongest urge to push that baby out! (isn't it the weirdest thing how our bodies know exactly what needs to be done?!) I pushed for about 5 minutes (according to my chart) and our little girl came into the world at 11:02 PM that night! As she was carried away after I got a good look at her, Matt went over with them and at that point said "I think she looks like a Carson"... I (tiredly) replied "okay!". At that point, we could have probably called her Elvis and I wouldn't have cared until later!

Dad arrived at the hospital just a few minutes after she was born! With everything going so fast, it was hard to even update ANYONE because Matt was helping me through everything!

With Carson, I would like to say I fell in love instantly.... and I DID, but at that point, you still don't "know" your baby yet. I have to say, even though I have loved Carson since the day she was created, I fall more in love with her each day as she grows, learns and responds to things and I know that love will continue to grow and grow.

If you made it through this LONG blog, thank you! But, I have to say, it's more for me than anyone else! It will be nice to sit down and read it when she is bigger! :)